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Bob.....Chris Parnell Co-Worker #1.....Tina Fey Co-Worker #2.....Rachel Dratch Co-Worker #3.....Seth Myers Co-Worker #4.....Amy Poehler Co-Worker #5.....Paris Hilton Guy Photocopying.....Ron Riggle Announcer: Something is different about Bob today… (A middle-aged man in a suit is walking through the halls of an office. He is smiling profusely) Co-Worker #1: (standing by her desk) Hey Bob, did you get a new shampoo? (Bob walks past her quickly, smiling) Co-Worker #2: (standing by the water cooler) New glasses? (Bob stops) Bob: I don't wear glasses. Co-worker #2: Oh. (Bob walks past her quickly, shaking his head) Co-Worker #3: (standing next to the copier) Low-carb diet? Bob: Actually, I've been eating Subways low-carb sandwiches every day and have lost a remarkable amount of weight! Well, I can't really tell whether the last digit on the scale is a 6 or a 9, so…. Co-Worker #1: (across the room) Probably should have been wearing your glasses… (Bob turns and walks away in disgust) Co-worker #4: (standing with co-workers by desk) New contacts? (Bob laughs, and walks even faster in the other direction, shaking his head) Co-worker #5: (drinking a cup of coffee in the kitchen) Sexually enhancing drug? (Bob stops dead in his tracks) (Everybody in the office freezes) (Zoom to a man making a photocopy of his butt. He stops what he is doing and looks up; his mouth drops open) (Zoom to a squirrel in a tree next to the office building who has stopped eating a nut and is looking up, wide-eyed, with a shocked expression) Bob: HOW DID YOU KNOW?! Co-worker #5: Well I mean, laundry day was yesterday, so that can't be a roll of quarters in your pocket. (Bob looks down to see his massive erection) Bob: What the hell is that?! Co-worker #5: Well, I've seen bigger, but I'd say you've got yourself a serious baseball bat. Bob: This is so embarrassing! (Bob runs into his office down the hall with his hands over his crotch area) Announcer: You know, idiot, it makes it a lot easier for people to tell what's different about you when you have pitched a massive tent in your pants. Announcer: (Sighs) Viagra, they'll never be able to tell! Unless….never mind. (Picture of Viagra box flashes across the screen) Announcer: (Quietly, Quickly) Side effects include uncontrollable erections, sexual harassment law suits, and visits from Paris Hilton. Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
