|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Miss Armstrong...Paris Hilton Tony...Fred Armisen Brent...Seth Meyers Vince...Horatio Sanz Brittany...Maya Rudolph V/O...Chris Parnell (scene opens to normal high school class, the bell rings) (Miss Armstrong enters the room and faces the class) Miss Armstrong: Good morning class. Before we start class I'd like to remind the boys in here that it isn't polite to stare at your teachers breasts. (all the boys quickly put their heads down) Miss Armstrong: As you know we've been reading the first couple chapters of "To Kill A Mockingbird", and many of you have been asking me why it is so uninteresting. Brittany: Yeah, when do we get to the parts with the n-word? (rest of class starts to talk and agree with Brittany) Miss Armstrong: Now, now. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. This is why I have decided to bring along a book I read to my son last night. Brent: A son? Wow, a milf too. Miss Armstrong: What was that? Brent: I said this desk is Milfy, errr I mean filthy. Miss Armstrong: Brent, I think you need a cold shower. Let's keep it that way. Now the book I was reading to my son was Go, Dog, Go by Dr. Seuss. (Miss Armstrong picks up book and starts to read) Blue dog. (turns page) Blue dog, red dog (turns page) Hello blue dog. Hello red dog. Tony: What does this have to do with "To Kill A Mockingbird?" Miss Armstrong: Just hold on a second, I think you'll see the similarities. (turns page in book) "Goodbye red dog." Goodbye blue dog." (turns page) "Hello red dog." "Hello black dog, you have some nerve speakin to me when you are not spoken to boy." "I'm sorry Missah red dog, it won't happen again." (students have look of confusion on thier faces) Miss Armstrong: "Hello blue dog." "Hello red dog." "Red dog, I heard that you had a problem with a Negro dog today." "Yes blue dog damn their sass." "It's best to treat the black dogs just like you would treat your own mother." (turns page) (students look around at each other confused) Miss Armstrong: "Blue dog you are a nigger-dog lover." "Please red dog, nigger is such a hateful term, they prefered to be called black labradors." "Damn you to hell red dog, you can just go along with your fried chicken-flavored Purina-eatin friends." Miss Armstrong: Kids isn't this a great story? (kids look shocked and horrified) Tony: Hey now, thats not a Dr. Seuss book, you wrote that yourself. Brittany: Miss Armstrong, we've seen enough. (starting to cry). (Brent puts arm around Brittany) Brent: Miss Armstrong, we know you meant well. But we live in a diverse world, with many people. We need to respect each other, no matter the color of thier skin or who their God is. This is America, land of the free and home of the brave. Miss Armstrong: You're right Brent. I'm sorry class for reading such a racist story, we can go back to reading our To Kill A Mockingbird books. Vince: Yeah, (stands up) I...think...racism..is..bad. Brittany: Shut up you stupid spic. (entire class bursts into corny laughter) V/O: Happy Black History Month from Saturday Night You. (fade to black) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
