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Liam Aiken (Lemony Snicket boy).....Seth Meyers Emily Browning (Lemony Snicket girl).....Amy Poehler Hillary Duff.....Rachel Dratch Dakota Fanning.....Paris Hilton Boy From The Grudge.....Horatio Sanz Announcer: And it's the Young Hollywood Awards, awarding the bright young stars of tomorrow, today. Please give it up, for your hosts, the stars of Lemony Snicket A Series Of Unfortunate Events, Liam Aiken and Emily Browning! (Liam (Seth) and Emily (Amy) walk out to the stage, holding hands. Liam has a 'mop-top style' hair wig, and Emily has heavy black eyeliner (Think 'Spy Glass'). They wait for the audience to stop clapping and then Emily speaks into the microphone) Emily: Welcome. (She smiles smugly, putting her finger to her lips) Emily: It's the Young Hollywood Awards, and we're here to honor the young Hollywood stars. We're one short today, isn't that right Liam. (Liam grins evilly and slowly nods his head) Emily: The little baby from the movie, 'Lemony Snicket's A Series of Fortunate Events' who plays Sunny. She's not here right now. Or ever. (She grins.) Liam: We ate her. Emily: Don't tell our secret Liam. (She puts her finger on her lips and grins) We're just kidding. Liam: No we're not. (He grins, and they slowly turn their head to face each other and they smile smugly.) Emily: Anyway, let's get with the awards, our first presenter is a carbon copy of Britney Spears, and she'll be on screen with her own version of "Mean Girls", titled "Mean Sluts'. Clap your hands for Hillary Duff. (Emily and Liam walk off the stage holding hands. Hillary comes from the left side of the stage and walks over to the podium; she waves to the audience.) Hillary: Wow, it's so great to actually be here and win an Oscar. (She smiles) We're here to give an award for Best Female Actress. And remember, if you lose, remember (sings) You can fllllyyyyy, higher than an eagle…(She coughs loudly, stopping the song.) And the nominees are… Lindsay Lohoe-I mean han. (Hillary smiles innocently) Dakota Fanning Raven Me, Hillary Duff And the winner is…. (Shot of the envelope and it says 'Lindsay Lohan') Hillary: Dakota Fanning! YAY! (Dakota Fanning comes out, and she's wearing a black wig, (a la, 'Hide And Seek'), and she's wearing all black. She walks over to the podium and glares at the audience.) Dakota: (High-pitch, happy tone) I would like to thank… (fast speaking-dark tone) no-one, so all you sluts can rot in hell. (Happy) Thanks! (She walks off with Hillary. Liam and Emily come back out on stage and walks over to the podium, holding hands.) Liam: Wow, she's weird. Emily: No more hot-topic for you young lady. (Emily and Liam glance at each other and put their hands to the mouth and start giggling evilly.) Emily: Now, the last award of the night, Best Actor. Liam: I hope I win. (They look at each other and grin smugly) Emily: (With her British Accent) And the Nomin-nomin-nominees are: Liam Aiken, Lemony's Snicket Meowing Boy, The Grudge Shia Lebouf, I, Robot Emily: And the winner is, (Emily glances at the card, and her eyes bug out.) The Meowing Kid from the Grudge. (The Meowing Kid (Horatio), dressed with nothing but an over-sized diaper, and covered with white powder all over him, and black lipstick, comes up to accept his award. He walks over to the podium.) Grudge Kid: MEOW! (He grabs his award and tip-toes off the stage) Emily: Well, that was interesting. Liam: Indeed. Emily: That was the Young Hollywood Awards, have fun being trampled by Star Jones at the after party. I'm Emily, and this is Liam, and we are full of secrets. (Emily and Liam smile evilly and exits off the stage) (Fade) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
