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.....Jason Bateman .....Jeffrey Tambor (special guest) (Open with Jason Bateman backstage looking over a script. Jeffrey Tambor runs into him) Jason: How are you, Mr. Tambor? Jeffrey: I’m good. I think the show is going well. Jason: Yeah it’s great, I get to play the "normal guy" in every sketch. I get to practice my confused face with all the crazy characters. Jeffrey: That’s nice, but I wanted to talk to you about the show. Jason: If you’re wondering about SNL, I know the writing sucks and the show is getting progressively worse, but I think it’s a pretty good show. Better than MADtv. Jeffrey: Oh I know. MADtv called me for an appearance. They wanted to do a parody called Bare-Breasted Development. It’s the same show except everyone is topless. Yeesh, I’m not taking off my shirt. Jason: I’m glad you’re not taking off your shirt! Jeffrey: (Annoyed) Look Michael, your performance is going good. But I thought you would plug Arrested Development a bit more! Jason: What... you want me to be an attention monger! Jeffrey: Michael- Jason: I’m Jason Bateman! Michael is my character’s name! Jeffrey: I’m surprised you know anything about AD. You have trouble with your lines and you don’t get along with cast! Jason: Maybe it’s because I wanted to treat everyone to Mongolian Barbecue. How am I supposed to know Will Arnett is an Western-Tarian. Jeffrey: Everyone’s beliefs should be respected. Will hates Asian food while I can’t stand clam chowder! Jason: That’s great, but I gotta go over this script. Now can you go back to your seat. Jeffrey: Go back to my seat! I’m Jeffrey Tambor! I was on the Larry Sanders Show! Jason: Oh I’m sure everyone is talking about that role! Jeffrey: Quiet... Mr."Silver Spoons"! Jason: I got to go, if you want to plug the show, then be my guest. I obviously have a career now, and I don’t need any more attention! Jeffrey: Look at me Bater-Man! You ask me to come down here for support and you treat me like this. I was more respected at my cousin’s Christmas Party, and I had to swap spit with a make-up clad bear! Jason: Okay, stop with your stories! And I thought you were here on your own to support me! Jeffrey: You’re right I came on my own. But I’m here for that sweet Kelly Clarkson! Jason: Whatever! Hey old man, go get a life that doesn’t involve being with me! Jeffrey: One day you will ask for my help, but I won’t even say a word. I’ll stand and watch as you suffer. You’ll see me and you’ll wonder why you were not nicer to Mr. Tambor. The guilt will eat at your insides. It will create a puncture so big, a midget can live inside your soul!!! (Jason Bateman looks confused) Jeffrey: By the way, this is how you promote something! (Cut to Home Base where trumpets sound. A banner is unfurled with a photo of the cast. There is a caption that reads ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT-Sundays on FOX. The theme from Arrested Development also pots up.) (Cut to backstage as Jeffrey Tambor laughs) Jeffrey: Learn something once in a while! (Jeffrey walks away as Jason Bateman shakes his head. The camera fades out.) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
