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Bartender.....Chris Parnell Jay.....Jason Bateman Eric.....Will Forte (Open on 2 men sit at a bar, a bartender stands near, drinking their respective drinks, talking to each other) Jay: So fellas, it happened again. Bartender: What? What happened again? Jay: I had that dream, again Eric: That damned recurring dream? Bartender: What dream? Eric: You know, that one where he’s driving Sonny Crockett’s car from Miami Vice…and he thinks he’s Sonny Crockett and he’s on the show… Bartender: What show? Eric: Miami Vice! Jay: Hey bartender, can you hit me again? Bartender: Sure. (Bartender pours Jay another shot) Jay: So, what do you think that means? Eric: Well, maybe it’s some kind of…adolescent thing you have saved in your memory bank. Jay: What do you mean? Bartender: Well, I think it’s what psychologist call “The Spaceman Fantasy”. Jay: The Spaceman Fantasy? Bartender: Yeah, you remember when you were a kid, you always dreamed of being an astronaut or a fireman? Jay: Yeah, so what? Bartender: Well, psychologists say that when you become middle-aged you tend to latch onto something from your childhood so mentally you feel young. Eric: Ah, so maybe this is your way of reliving your childhood. Jay: Okay…but why do dream I’m Sonny Crockett? And why does Phil Collins’ “In The Air Tonight” play in the background? Bartender: I can’t help you there…I just serve the drinks. Eric: Well, mentally maybe you are just setting the scene. There may be no rhyme or reason for it…it just comes with the car. Jay: I think I understand…I got to the little boy’s room. I’ll be right back. (Jay exits the scene) Eric: So, what do you think? Is it normal? Bartender: He’s crazy! Eric: Do you think so? Bartender: No, I’m just kidding. It happens to all of us! When I turned 35, I went through this phase of going into the ladies room and peaking a look at chicks going to the bathroom. Eric: That’s a little messed up, dude. Bartender: Well, it’s was just one of those things you did as a kid. When you were young, your mother would take you into the bathroom with her, because you weren’t old enough to go into the men’s room alone. Eric: I understand. And you know, Jay’s recurring dream isn’t that weird. On the weekends, I like to go to my local church and try to get molested by the priest. Bartender: Why would you want to do that? Eric: That’s something that happened to me when I was a kid! I’m re-living my childhood! Bartender: Ah…so, do you want another beer? Eric: Sure. (Jay comes back into the scene) How did everything go in there? Jay: Okay… Eric: Did you remember to shake, Sonny? Jay: You know that is so childish! (Fade out) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
