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Announcer: The following conversation took place on February 5th 2005, between an Unstar subscriber and Operator. Unstar: This is Unstar, how can I be of assistance? (voice of a famous female star - i.e. Brittany Spears, Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, etc.) Famous Female Star: (hysterically) Oh my God! Oh my God! They're mobbing me! I can't get away! They're all around me!!!! Unstar: Could you please state the nature of your problem? Famous Female Star: It's my fans! I can't get away from them! They're screaming for autographs!!!! Unstar: Would you like us to send out a crew to assist you? Famous Female Star: (Slightly calmer) Yes! Right Away! Unstar: Ok. I have you located on Hollywood Blvd, near...(fades out) Announcer: Our Unstar service can provide you with the assistance you need. Unstar: Ok. I can stay on the line until the Unstar crew arrives if you would like? (Scene fades in to FFS sitting in car with fans mobbing her) Famous Female Star: Please hurry! Announcer: Unstar is available on most extremely expensive luxury cars belonging to rock stars, movie stars, musicians, etc. (the Unstar team [10 or more crewmembers in coverall uniforms] attack the fans, pummeling fans and knocking them out of the way. They then swarm the car and the star surrounding it until it is completely hidden, and within seconds disperse leaving the former luxury vehicle looking like a 1973 Pinto with a rather plain looking person in out of style clothes, buck teeth, and nerdy glasses to drive away, leaving the fans looking in vain for the Famous Female Star as the announcer fades out) Announcer: Unstar is not very affordable, and can be obtained for about $16,950 per month on most vehicles. (Scene fades out.) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
