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.....Lorne Michaels .....Tracy Morgan .....Tina Fey .....Wee Man .....Preston Lacy .....Johnny Knoxville Carrot Top.....Seth Meyers (Fade in) (Close up on Lorne Michaels talking to senior staff in his office) Lorne Michaels: Okay, so if we have Will hosting next week and then we finish the season with Adam Sandler and an unannounced, uncalled for special appearance by Chris Rock, we should have a good couple episodes to end the season! (Tracy Morgan comes walking out of the closet) Tracy Morgan: Hey Lorne, when can I host the show? Lorne Michaels: When you actually get some work! Tracy Morgan: I don’t need to take that, Lorne. Get me a soda, bitch! Lorne Michaels: No! (Tina Fey enters Lorne’s office) Tina Fey: Lorne, you might want to come out and see what’s going on out in the hallways. (Lorne Michaels and Tina Fey walk out into the hallway) (“Jackass” style chaos is occurring in the hallways) (“Wee Man” and the fat guy who chases “Wee Man”, Preston Lacy, running around the hallways) Lorne Michaels: Good god! What the hell is going on here? Tina Fey: Well, Lorne, when you let Will Ferrell leave, the show went down hill! Lorne Michaels: No, not that! This! What the hell is this? Tina Fey: When you booked Johnny Knoxville to host, I think that gave Johnny the right to bring all of his buddies from “Jackass” to the show. Lorne Michaels: I can’t believe this! (Lorne rushes down the hallways to Johnny’s dressing room) Johnny Knoxville: Lorne! My good man, what’s up? Lorne Michaels: Knoxville, you’ve got to get rid of all of these “Jackass” dudes. I will not have another TOM GREEN on my hands! Never again! Johnny Knoxville: Well, fine Lorne! I guess you’ll be doing the show without a host. Lorne Michaels: You’re going to walk? Fine, I’ve got Kattan on speed-dial. I’m sure can be here with in a few minutes. Johnny Knoxville: Fine. I guess I’ll take my friends and get the hell out of here. But Lorne, do me one favor…look into the camcorder and say the line…it’s for the new “Jackass” DVD. (Lorne Michaels turns around to the amateur camcorder) Lorne Michaels: I’m Johnny Knoxville…and this is jackass! (Lorne Michaels proceeds to be hit in the crotch with a baseball base, swung by Knoxville) (Cut to Lorne waking up from a dream in his bed, yelling) Lorne Michaels: Oh god! It was just a bad dream. (Tina Fey wakes up next to Lorne) Tina Fey: Lorne, what’s wrong? Lorne Michaels: It was just a bad dream…just a bad dream. Tell me we didn’t book Johnny Knoxville to host. Tina Fey: No, Lorne. Why would we do “Jackass” thing like that? Lorne Michaels: I don’t know. I was just remembering the train wreck that happened when we let Tom Green host. I’m still in therapy over being in a tub with that ‘moron’. Are sure we didn’t book Johnny Knoxville? Tina Fey: I’m sure of it, Lorne. Lorne Michaels: Then who’s hosting this week? Tina Fey: Don’t worry, Lorne. It will be a funny show. Carrot Top hosting this week’s show. Lorne Michaels: NOOO! (Enter Carrot Top) Carrot Top: Hey Dude, relax! Dialing COLLECT is easy! It’s just…”live from New York, its Saturday Night!” Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
