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Uncle Lester...Lewis Black Jake...Jason Sudeikis [Jake types on his computer. A knock on the door is heard, causing Jake to turn off his screen and open the door.] Jake: Hey Uncle Lester. Uncle Lester: Jake, have you been in here all day? Jake: uhh... Uncle Lester: That’s a yes or no question. Jake: Uhh no. Uncle Lester: So what have you been doing all day? Jake: Well, I ... Uncle Lester: Yeah? Jake: Well I....um...I... Uncle Lester: Look kid, I know you’ve done nothing. You never do anything besides watch tv, play video games, and do whatever the hell you do on the computer. Probably looking at porn, huh? Jake: No, no I haven’t. Uncle Lester: I know you’re lying again, but you’re an adult now. I guess you’re old enough to do what you want. However, I suggest that you take advantage of your summer break. If you had bothered to venture out of your cell here, you would know that it’s an absolutely gorgeous day. When I was your age, I would have loved to be out enjoying this weather. Instead, I was sent off to Arizona to work for my uncle. I had to spend my summer doing manual labor all damn day in the scorching hot desert while my uncle drank and berated me. I would have killed to be given the option you have to play baseball, or go swimming, or skateboard... Jake: Ok, ok I’ll go out. Uncle Lester: Good. Why don’t you ride your bike? Jake: Fine. [Jake walks out. Scene dissolves to Jake riding his bike out the door and off screen while Uncle Lester stands on the front porch.] Uncle Lester: See isn’t this much better? Have fun and remember to look both ways before you cross a street. (Yelling) Jake, look out for that car! [Car crash sound effects. Uncle Lester cringes] Uncle Lester: (yelling) You ok son?!...Yeah you’ll be fine! Just a little dazed, that’s all!...Seriously kid, you’re beginning to scare me! Get up! [walks off screen] [fade out] Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
