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Announcer.....Chris Parnell Candice Rey.....Rachel Dratch Billy Dee Williams.....Morgan Freeman Mark Hamill.....Will Forte Jay Leno.....Darrell Hammond Tony Danza.....Fred Armisen (Fade in) (Cue Music – Bonnie Raitt “Something To Talk About”) Announcer: It’s time for “Causal Conversation” with host Candice Rey. Candice Rey: Good evening, I’m Candice Rey and welcome to “Causal Conversation”. On our show, we talk about talking! We just conversate about conversation! Tonight we are “talking” with big time celebrities, from the older Star Wars films, actors Billy Dee Williams and Mark Hamill. Thank you for coming on our show, gentlemen. And, let me just say, it is an honor to have you here. Billy Dee Williams: Well, you know…it’s a pleasure to be here. I think the true Star Wars fan watching at home, will really get a thrill out of seeing us old timers on the talk show circuit, again. Mark Hamill: Oh, I agree totally. Everyone is saying, “Hey, weren’t you the guy in the old Star Wars movies? That’s great! Can you double bag those groceries? Thanks!” Candice Rey: Well, personally, I was a fan of the older movies. The new movies are all special effects and no real story. Mark Hamill: Good point. Thank you for bringing that up. The older movies, I believe, really had a story…not just action. Candice Rey: Exactly! Now, Mark, you played Luke Skywalker. You talk about story. Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t Luke have a crush on Carrie Fisher’s character Princess Leia? Don’t the two characters end up kissing? Mark Hamill: That is all correct. Candice Rey: Doesn’t it also come out at some point that you and Princess Leia are actually “siblings”. Mark Hamill: That’s correct. Billy Dee Williams: That’s some fucked up shit right there! Candice Rey: Yes, it is. Mark, do you think in 1977, America was ready for “incest” in a galaxy far far away? Mark Hamill: Personally, I think America and the world, in general, was ready for it. You have to remember that in 1977, the world was changing! Men were dating other men. Women were dating other women. Guys were dressing up like girls; girls were dressing up like guys. Being gay, being bisexual, being sexually attracted to one of your siblings was being embraced by society. It was more popular than being attracted to the opposite sex. Billy Dee Williams: I heard that! Candice Rey: Billy Dee, you played Lando Calrissian; you played the only black person in the galaxy. Beyond being the only minority in the galaxy, what role do you think you played in the Star Wars films? Billy Dee Williams: Well, Candice, I think I represented! Candice Rey: Represented? I’m sorry, I don’t speak jive turkey. Billy Dee Williams: I represented the black people! Also, I added to the sexual tension! I think I speak for the brothers, when I say that everyone who saw those films wanted to see Leia hook up with someone other than Obi Won or Luke Skywalker. The Star Wars films would have been 10 times better if Lando Calrissian had taken Princess Leia backdoor! Candice Rey: I’m getting hot just thinking about it! Billy Dee Williams: I suggested the idea to George Lucas but he was all like, “Go shine my shoes, boy!” Candice Rey: That is a great story! Well our time is up for our causal conversation. I’d like to thank my guests Mark Hamill and Billy Dee Williams. Thank you, gentlemen! (Cue Music – Bonnie Raitt “Something To Talk About”) (Fade out) Announcer: Next time, on “Causal Conversation”, our guest will be host of “The Tonight Show”, Mr. Jay Leno! Here is a clip! Jay Leno: Hey, you know, it’s great to be here! Yeah! Candice Rey: Jay, I just want to say, I’m a huge fan of yours and… Jay Leno: Oh, thank you! Candice Rey: Jay, the two of us were talking before the show and you said that the reason you wanted to become a talk show host was because you loved to talk as a kid. Jay Leno: Yeah, you know that’s right! And Candice…did you hear about this? As a kid, I would never seem to want to shut up. My mother use to have to tell me to put a sock in it! Can you believe that? Candice Rey: Really? I never knew that! Talk about “motor mouth”! Jay Leno: Tell me about it! Candice Rey: Now, Jay, you have been hosting “The Tonight Show” for 13 years or so. When did you realize you wanted to talk for a living? Jay Leno: You know, watching Johnny host the show for so many years, I realized I wanted to do the same thing. Candice Rey: Jay, you are a wonderful talk show host! Jay Leno: Candice, can tell you something? Did you hear about this? Studies say causal conversation is the best because you don’t need to wear a tie! (Laughs) Candice Rey: Ah, Jay! That’s too good! Announcer: That’s next week on “Causal Conversation”. Next on the talk show network, don’t miss “The Tony Danza Show”! (Cut to a clip of Tony Danza doing a promo for the show) Tony Danza: Angela! Join me on “The Tony Danza Show” with my guest, star of some great films like “Driving Miss Daisy” and “Million Dollar Baby”, Morgan Freeman. I’m gonna ask him some questions about the sweet science, boxing. We’re gonna see if the old guy can still kick my annoying Italian ass! That’s next, right here on the Talk Show Network! (Shouts towards someone off-camera) Angela! Tell Mona to put her bra back on! (Nervously back on camera) Oh geez! Announcer: That’s next on the Talk Show Network. (Fade out) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
