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Jesse Jackson...Darrell Hammond Al Sharpton...Kenan Thompson Black Guy...Morgan Freeman George...Fred Armisen Kevin...Seth Meyers Brian...Will Forte (closeup of sign that says “Minstrel Show 4pm Every Day” on outside of tent) (newspaper spinning saying, “African-Americans Speak Out Against Minstrel Show”) (showing Jackson, Sharpton, and black man sitting behind table with microphones talking to reporters) Jesse Jackson: (with name on-screen) A national outrage has come upon us today. When in this day in age, such a travesty is not frowned upon among our political leaders, there is a problem. Where blackface is a form of making fun of race, dancing and prancing and glancing and chanting and ranting, the hippity-bippity smoky-joe fro-fro, we need a plan. This cannot go on, and that is a fact. Al Sharpton: (with name on-screen) Let’s face it; racism will always be around. We can all agree on that. The fact of the matter is that this proposterous, promiscuous propaganda will not stand. The black community will not tolerate, and we will not watch it happen. These people are in for a fight; can I get an Amen?!!! Black Guy: (with name on-screen saying A Black Guy) I really don’t know why I’m here. These two fellows, who I truly respect, somewhat kidnapped me and forced me into talking about the denigration of our race with a certain sign. I really don’t know at’s going on, but I would truly like to find out. Jesse Jackson: Yes. Al Sharpton: Alright, then. (Later that day at the Renaissance Fair) George: We seem to have been getting a lot of hype lately as to bringing back such an awful form of activity that seems to be banned. Anybody know what we did wrong? Kevin: It appears that our sign for the minstrel show has angered several famous, well, kind-of famous politicians. Well, not really politicians, as they are disgruntled Americans. In any event, we need to change the sign. Brian: What should we change, George? George: Well, the time we can’t change, and the every day part is crucial and accurate. Kevin: Minstrel show. Do you think that’s it? George: I don’t know why. Why would anybody be angry about foppishly agile medieval entertainers dancing, singing, and reading poetry? That can’t be the problem. Perhaps our sign needs embellishment. Brian: Like? Kevin: I’ve got just the solution. (Caption: NEXT DAY) (Sign reads: “Minstrel Show 4pm Every Day-Laugh, Cry, Sing-Along With The Low Class Enthusiasts) (Spinning paper reads: “Panel To Address Reporters Again Today”) (back to panel) Jesse Jackson: Any respectable human beings these people are not. We can find ways for them to allow this, but we musn’t. Call out your friends, your neighbors, your fellow-countrymen. We need a force, bring out your horse, and we will defeat them, of course. Al Sharpton: This is an outrage. A travesty of American experimentation brought back to destroy any comfort the black community has tried so desperately to retain since Jim Crow Laws. We need to defeat this whiteys portraying themselves as ourselves in a ridiculous, rampageous ruckus. We will not let this stand. Black Guy: Again, I don’t think you understand the seriousness of my dilemma. On the one hand, these anarchists of oration have taken their faith and bestowed upon me to tell you. On the other hand, when you reporters leave, they make sure I don’t run away and lock me in their van. I’m sure this problematic show has its reasons, and probably is not what you think. You may also think that they are listening to every word I say, but this is not the case. Help me. Help me, please! Jesse Jackson: Brother, brother. Al Sharpton: Damn right. (Later That Day, Renaissance Fair) George: Once again, we are having problems with the sign. Such a complex situation is not what I had in mind for this renaissance fair. What needs to be changed, Kevin? Kevin: I thought the explanation would help, since minstrels are fun-loving lessers who loved to sing. I don’t know what went wrong. Brian: I have another theory. Perhaps a treat for the viewers would not be a bad idea. George: That’s a good idea, Brian. Let’s try it. (Caption: NEXT DAY) (Sign now says, “Minstrel Show 4pm Every Day-Free Watermelon) (Spinning paper reads, “Panel Meets Again With Free Press”) (Another spinning paper reads, “Spinning Newspaper Injures Three”) (Back to panel) Al Sharpton: How far will this go?? I have decided to take Jesse’s time to talk, to give you my uproarious complaint. Must our race face a different torturous manner every day of our lives. These demons are ruining what little sense of pride we have for this country. Trust me and my friends here tonight, there will be no more talk. We will walk the walk. Hallelujah, dammit. Jesse Jackson: Rat-a-tat-tat. Humminny-scrumminy, bipple-sipple-ripple-koffifle! Drambooie. Black Guy: Apparently you didn’t listen to my reply for help yesterday. They have stopped serving me food, and have begun to turn me into their suits model. This is no way to live, and since they can’t understand me over their giant egos....(cut to them looking at each other and checking each other out)...I would hope that you pay attention to a man in need of a hand. (Later That Day, Renaissance Fair) George: We are in a lot of trouble. What should we do? Kevin: We’ve tried everything. Brian: Maybe it’s the words “Minstrel Show.” Could that be the problem? Kevin: What did they call that in the 20s and 30s when people dressed up in blackface and tried to impersonate African Americans exaggeratedly? Brian: I believe they called that jazz. Or maybe The Jazz Singer. I don’t know. George: I didn’t want to do this. But, I’m afraid we have no choice but to add a rave review to the sign to make it more visual to our fans. Kevin: That should do the trick. Brian: Let’s use that review from the Kentucky Knights Of Columbus. (Caption: NEXT DAY) (Sign reads, “Minstrel Show 4pm Every Day ’Wonderful Show That Blew Our Shoes Off’-KKK”) (Spinning newspaper reads, “Renaissance Fair Destroyed By Vigilantes” (Another spinning newspaper reads, “Renaissance Fair Organizers Arrested”) (Headline Underneath reads, “Fair Committee Claims Accident Occured Because C’s Didn’t Work On Typewriter”) (fade) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
