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Announcer...Chris Parnell Mr. Ritzbitz...Steve Carell Hendrickson...Will Forte Mrs. Powell...Amy Poehler [SCENE: An office. Hendrickson is seated at his computer terminal reading the latest issue of US Weekly.] Announcer (VO): Are your employees constantly letting you down? [Mr. Ritzbitz approaches Hendrickson, one of his employees.] Mr. Ritzbitz: Hendrickson, did you finish that portfolio for today? [Hendrickson looks up from his magazine.] Hendrickson: Oh, no. Sorry, sir. I'm still working on it. Mr. Ritzbitz: [annoyed] Well, when can you have it done? Before five? Hendrickson: [energetically] Sure! [pause] Oh, wait, you mean before five today? Mr. Ritzbitz: Yes. Hendrickson: [condescendingly] Yeah, that isn't going to work for me. I'll need until next Tuesday. Mr. Ritzbitz: [shocked] Next Tuesday? You need a whole extra week?! Hendrickson: Yeah, I'm a little behind. Mr. Ritzbitz: [shouting in frustration] Arrrggh! Announcer (VO): Not to worry, boss-man, because your problems are now solved! And all it takes are two simple words! Watch! [SCENE: Hendrickson is standing in Mr. Ritzbitz's office.] Hendrickson: [shaking his head] I didn't finish it, Mr. Ritzbitz. The Mexican online poker tournament really ate up my time and I completely forgot about the portfolio. But, don't worry, I'll get it done eventually. Mr. Ritzbitz: [calmly] Hendrickson, you are going to finish that report for me by 8AM tomorrow...or else! [The smug look on Hendrickson's face disappears and is replaced with a frightened expression] Hendrickson: [terrified] Y--Y-yes, sir. Right away sir! [Mr. Ritzbitz smiles happily] Announcer (VO): "...Or Else!" can work in any situation, including with children! Take a look! [SCENE: Mrs. Powell's home living room. Her two young children, both boys, are acting out and ignoring her pleas to calm down] Mrs. Powell: (frustrated) Arggh! I give up! I want you two to remember that you drove me to this! [Mrs. Powell pauses and takes a deep breath] Mrs. Powell: [calmly] Boys, clean up your room...or else! [The boys stop dead in their tracks and then quickly run to their room without saying a word.] Mrs. Powell: [smiling] Yeah, that's great. [Cut to a graphic of "...Or Else!" with ordering information and a phone number] Announcer (VO): Order now and we'll send you the entire package on how to utilize "...Or Else!" to its fullest potential! "...Or Else!" is available at all Wal-Mart and K-Mart stores. Some of our other products include "...Pretty Please?", "...Now!", and the always popular "...Or Die Trying!" So, buy one today...or else! Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
