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Announcer…Jason Sudeikis Jay-C…Chris Parnell (Fade in) Announcer: Hey, have you wanted every “creepy pedophile” song at your easy listening pleasure? Well, either go online to NAPSTER or…watch this promo…Jay-C, the Pedophile has compiled a whole album of “creepy pedophile” songs, like this classic! (SUPER: “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” The Police) Jay-C: (singing) Young teacher, the subject of teenage fantasy, he wants her so badly, he knows what she wants from him. Announcer: Or what about this classic? (SUPER: “Caught Up In You” .38 Special) Jay-C: (singing) I’m so caught up in you, little girl. Announcer: Remember when the 15 year old girl started to “rebel yell” when you played this one? (SUPER: “Cradle Of Love” Billy Idol) Jay-C: (singing) Rock the cradle of love! Oh! Rock the cradle of love! Announcer: Songs on this album include: ”Christine 16” by KISS; “Tainted Love” by Soft Cell”; “Relax” by Frankie Goes To Hollywood; “Crash Into Me” by Dave Matthews Band; “Come Together” by The Beatles; and of course, “Every Breathe You Take” by The Police. And don’t forget this classic! (SUPER: “What’s Your Name?” Lynyrd Skynyrd) Jay-C: (singing) What was your name? Little girl? What’s your name? Announcer: So call now to buy “Songs Of The Pedophile”! Call the number flashing below. Operators are standing by. (SUPER: (flashing) 1-800-CREEPY-DUDE) Jay-C: I’ll be waiting for your call, with my pants around my ankles. (Fade out) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
