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Dennis Miller...Bill Hader
(Fade in) (Dennis Miller stands in front of a big city backdrop) Dennis Miller: Alright, look, it's 2005, anyone who still has a dial-up connection is a technologically retarded caveman who needs to climb out of his hole in the ground and enter the civilization of the 21st century. And I specifically use the term "climb"; because I doubt these sorry excuses for human beingsĀ have learned to walk upright yet. Seriously, though, it's time to switch to NetZero. Dial-up connections with AOL take more time than Corky from "Life Goes On" taking an SAT exam! That's why it's time to move forward. A Hi-Speed connection from NetZero is filled with more speed than Whitney Houston's birthday party. And you know what, it's cheaper too. I can't believe that the country is filled with brain-dead idiots paying $35 a month for such a slow connection. These people are wasting more money than Paris Hilton's boyfriend at a whorehouse, okay! So, come on people, switch to NetZero. It'll get you connected faster than my last show got cancelled. Guess what folks! That's the promo! And I am out of here! (Fade out) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
