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...Don Pardo ...Lorne Michaels ...Horatio Sanz ...Steve Higgins ...Steve Carell ...Finesse Mitchell ...Amy Poehler ...Chris Parnell ...Tina Fey ...Kristen Wiig ...Will Forte [IMAGE: The "Saturday Night Live" logo] Don Pardo (VO): Coming this Sunday to NBC is an all-new two hour special on America's favorite sketch-comedy show "Saturday Night Live!" We've already covered the 70's and 80's, but now it's time to flash-forward to the present! Presenting "SNL Season 31: The First Five Shows, Lost and Still Lost!" Here's an extended preview! [Cut to Lorne Michaels] Lorne Michaels: We had two pregnancies to deal with coming into the season. Maya was eight months along, so she only did the premiere and then went underground. Literally. [pause] We honestly don't know where she is. She's a Scientologist, so who knows what they're doing to her. And Tina gave birth one month before the premiere, so we realized that she would have to miss the first two shows. The question became who to temporarily replace her with. [Cut to Horatio Sanz] Horatio Sanz: They settled on me to do Update since I wowed them with my audition. [Cut to Steve Higgins, one of the show's producers] Steve Higgins: Horatio was terrible. I'll freely admit that. But look, we originally thought that we should replace Tina with someone who would do a good job. But then we realized that we didn't want to accidentally raise the bar too high and make it hard for her to come back. We also didn't want the viewers to forget about her, so that's why we picked Horatio. The strategy worked...almost too well. [Cut to Lorne Michaels] Lorne Michaels: Once we had Update taken care of, we had the issue of booking the first show. [Cut to Steve Carell] Steve Carell: It was the first time I had been asked to host, and I was honored that they wanted me to do the premiere. I said yes instantly. [Cut to Lorne Michaels] Lorne Michaels: Steve wasn't our first choice. To be honest, he wasn't even in our top ten. But Chris Walken canceled, and then Affleck was busy, and John and Alec were already booked for other projects, and Gary Busey was overseas on business, so we finally went with Steve. [Cut to Steve Carell] Steve Carell: I had a great time doing it, but I've just been so busy lately that I didn't have the energy to perform as well as I could have. If you watch the Debbie Downer sketch carefully, you can see that my eyes are bloodshot. Pay attention during the close-ups and you'll see it. I think that about says it all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go simultaneously film an episode of my show "The Office," three movies, and two commercials for Lays Potato Chips. [excitedly] They're Lay-tastic! [Cut to Lorne Michaels] Lorne Michaels: Kanye West was actually booked before his telethon incident, so that was great timing. We were also fortunate enough to get Mike Myers to do a cameo. I was quite pleased that he took the time out from his hectic schedule of not making any films for the past two years. [Cut to Finesse Mitchell] Finesse Mitchell: Man, I was angry when I heard that they were brining back Ashlee Simpson. I was all, "Say what?!" And they were all, "Oh no you didn't!" [Finesse Mitchell pauses] Finesse Mitchell: [to himself] Why am I saying this? [Finesse waves a script in front of the camera] Finesse Mitchell: [shouting] Nobody else got a script for this thing! You all afraid of what I would really say? Well, I--- [Cut to Amy Poehler] Amy Poehler: Well, with Maya and Tina gone, I was basically in every sketch, particularly in the Jon Heder episode. [pause] You know, that's actually not too different from how it normally is. [laughs hysterically] [Cut to Chris Parnell] Chris Parnell: You want to know about the first five shows? Already? Well, I had to miss two of them since I was out in L.A working on my new sitcom. Lots of people noticed that I was gone, which felt great since nobody noticed when I was fired a few years back. I was kind of disappointed that I missed the Catherine Zeta-Jones show though since I've always wanted to do her...[quickly] I-I mean, do a "Merv the Perv" sketch with her. [pause] Yeah, that's what I meant. [Cut to Tina Fey] Tina Fey: I hurried back from maternity leave so I would be there for the Catherine Zeta-Jones show. I'm really glad that I got to do her...[quickly] I-I mean, write a hot French teacher sketch for her. [pause] Yeah, that's what I meant. [Cut to Lorne Michaels] Lorne Michaels: Lance Armstrong hosted our fourth show. [pause] Moving on... [Cut to Steve Higgins] Steve Higgins: We decided to add a female featured player starting with the fifth show to help pick up the slack. That and by this point everyone had already slept with Dratch and Poehler, so we needed some new blood in the mix. [Cut to Kristen Wiig] Kristen Wiig: [excitedly] Oh yeah, I had a great first show! Thank you so much for asking! I was only in one sketch, but I really learned a lot. [pause] That's about it. [Cut to Will Forte] Will Forte: Jason Lee accidentally said "dickhead" instead of "dickweed" during a Falconer sketch. I went and said it too to help cover for him, but it only made things worse. Lorne beat me for that after the show. [Cut to an IMAGE of the SNL logo] Don Pardo (VO): Be sure to catch "SNL Season 31: The First Five Shows, Lost and Still Lost" this Sunday night on NBC! And coming in February, "SNL Season 31: The Second Five Shows, Why Are We Still Lost? Does Anybody Know?" [FADE OUT] Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
