|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Announcer…Chris Parnell President Bush…Will Forte Dick Cheney…Darrell Hammond Al Gore…Darrell Hammond Tom DeLay…Jason Sudeikis Judge…Bill Hader (Fade in) (SUPER: This preview has been approved to be viewed by all audiences) Announcer: Hey America, why go see “King Kong” or a movie about “Dick & Jane”, when you can go see a movie about President Bush serving jury duty. This holiday season, why not go see a movie that’s as light hearted as getting blowjob from a 90 year old hooker. Can’t be any worse than “Aeon Flux”! 10 years ago, Pauly Shore did it…and now the President is! (President Bush wakes up shocked reading the jury duty notice) President Bush: JURY DUTY?! No! This isn’t happening! Take me back! There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home! Dick Cheney: Mr. President, I’m sorry…this notice is “affirmative”. Neither myself, nor your father can get out of this. Air Force One will take you down to Texas. Just serve your jury duty and I’ll keep things running here in the Washington D.C. And Mr. President, I have a few words for you….”hole in the O-zone layer”. Think about it. (Fade to Bush entering the courthouse) Al Gore: Hello, George W. I didn’t expect to see you here today. President Bush: I got called for jury duty. Why?! Al Gore: Well, George, it’s our civil duty as citizens. President Bush: Yeah, but I thought I was above all that crap! (Gore & Bush share a laugh) (Cut to Bush in the jury box with the other 11 jury members) President Bush: Hey Tom DeLay! I know you! What are you doing here? Tom DeLay: Shut it, George! Judge: Juror Number 6, be quiet! (Fade to a montage of President Bush and his crazy antics) Announcer: It’s a wonderful film for the family. It will make you laugh. It will make you cry. I might just make you question who’s running this country – A mild-mannered politician or a Pauly Shore clone? (Close up of President Bush) President Bush: What’s up, buddy! Oww! Chillin’ with the weasel! Oww! Announcer: “Jury Duty 2: Doody Calls”, opening this Christmas. Roger Ebert reviewed the film as, “a terrible example of filmmaking! I want my $8.50 back! I’m fat!” “Whatever Roger Ebert said!” – Richard Roeper, Chicago Sun-Times “Reviewing this movie is like serving…jury duty.” – Gene Shalit, The “Today” Show “I’m just happy to be a part of this newspaper…this movie sucked!” – Kay Daniels, The Marquette Post “If I could give a movie a negative rating, I would…and I’d give this movie a negative infinity!” – David Stone, Trenton Gazette See President Bush serve jury duty...because it seemed like a good idea at the time. Rated G for “Gut-wrenching”! (Fade out) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
