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.....Don Pardo (voice) .....Jack Black Audience Member.....Kyle Gass .....Seth Meyers TV Doctor.....Neil Young .....Lorne Michaels Don Pardo V/O: Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Black! (Jack enters from the backdoor of home base) Jack Black: Thank you! Thank you! It’s like a total honor and stuff to be hosting this show for guess it, my third time! The last time I hosted I was just coming off the heat of this rocking film I did called “School Of Rock”. Those kids were a whole heck of a lot of fun to work with. But when I got done with that movie and I was promoting it and junk, I was getting ready to do this new film…this remake of “King Kong” that Peter Jackson was gonna be doing…and Peter Jackson is like the coolest director I’ve ever seen in action. I mean, “Lord Of The Rings” and…”Lord Of The Rings 2”…and…ah… (Close up of an audience member shouting out) Audience Member: Lord Of The Rings 3! Jack Black: Yeah, dude, the third one! Thanks, Cage! And my agent called me, he’s like, “Dude, Peter Jackson wants you to read for King Kong”. That’s a thrill, man! So I was like to my agent, “what role do they want me for?” and he’s like, “I think you want you to play King Kong!” and I was like, “SWEET!” So I’m going into the audition, thinking I’m going to play King Kong. So I get in there and Peter Jackson is like sitting there, and there were some other dudes…and Peter is like, “Jack, I want you do remember who your character is. Don’t let me down!” And I jumped up on the couch and I’m climbing on the walls and I’m like “Yeah! Yeah! I’m in love with Katie Holmes!” And Peter Jackson was like, “Jack, that was incredible…but I’ve already cast the character of Tom Cruise!” That was a fun time. Well, anyhow…I thought it would be cool to re-enact my audition in front of Peter Jackson to play King Kong. That’s the real character I wanted to play. Pete couldn’t be here. He’s getting a “HJ” from Naomi Watts. The things people will do for roles in movies in Hollywood (A stagehand is helping Jack Black get into his KING KONG costume) (Jack Black re-emerges on stage in his King Kong costume) (Jack Black starts dancing about the stage; the SNL band starts playing “Bare Necessitates”) Jack Black: I’m KONG! I’m KONG! (Attempts to pull off the mask) Man, I can’t breath in here! I can’t breath! I’M KONG! (Jack passes out, drops to the floor; Seth Meyers steps out to investigate) Seth Meyers: Oh, my God! I don't think he's fooling around! Is there someone who's not a doctor in real life but plays one on TV in the house? TV Doctor: (steps out) At your service, young man. Seth Meyers: Is our host going to be okay? TV Doctor: Well, let me take a look. (rolls Jack Black over) Nope, he's dead. Seth Meyers: (solemnly) I don't believe it. He could have been a five-timer. (Lorne michaels pushes his way onto the stage) Lorne Michaels: Let me through, Doctor, my name's Michaels. Doctor, I'm Lorne Michaels. TV Doctor: Well, Michaels, the face mask got him. Lorne Michaels: Oh, no. It wasn't the face mask. (dramatic pause, turns to face the audience) It was stupidity killed the Beast. TV Doctor: Well, anyway, it's not important. (turns to the audience and smiles) Because we still have a great show tonight. Neil Young is here, so stick around, we'll be right back. Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
