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…Don Pardo (voice only) …Natalie Portman (Fade in) Don Pardo: Ladies and gentlemen, Natalie Portman! (Natalie enters from the backdoor of home base) Natalie Portman: Thank you! Thank you! Oh wow! Saturday Night Live! This is a real thrill! It’s a thrill to be hosting this show. Although I’m not the kind of actress who does “television”. You see, I’ve worked with a lot of high talent big name actors and they have all set a course of action through advice for me. Danny Aiello once told me, “Don’t do television!” And I live by that advice, even thou I’m doing this show. It’s one of those rules for actors and actresses. If you want people to see your films, you have to be seen on television. That’s why I’ve done “Leno” and “Letterman” and even that crap-fest “TRL”. I’m doing this show…because an actress needs to take chances. That’s something I learned from Ashley Judd. When I filmed “Closer”, I remember Jude Law saying to me, “So, how would you like to join Julia and myself in her trailer during lunch? She’s got a waterbed, you know!” And I just remember thinking to myself, should a young actress subject herself to this? (Pause) YES! I mean, who else can say, “Hey! Just had a 3-way with Jude Law and Julia Roberts! What did you do during your lunch break? I thought so!” When I worked with “Michael J. Fox” years ago, he told me to “always act your age”, which is theory is good advice, coming from a guy who played a teenage slacker who “toys” with the space-time continuum when he was 29. I just finished production on this new film about Francisco Goya and his muse. I play the muse…and Randy Quaid said something to me on the set one day that I will remember forever. He said, “Natalie, what ever you do, don’t have a better looking younger brother who becomes more famous than you. You’ll just always be known as Dennis Quaid’s older brother, the not-so good looking brother of Dennis…the mutt of the Quaid brothers.” Then he asked me if I wanted to go do some “blow” in his trailer. Anyhow… We have a great show for you tonight. The guys of “Fall Out Boy” are here! So stick with us, we’ll be right back! (Fade out) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
