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…Natalie Portman Billy Ray Stevens…Chris Parnell (Fade in) (Natalie Portman stands on the home base stage, about to present a musical performance) Natalie Portman: And now, I’d like to introduce to you a very special guest, a new singer/songwriter named Billy Ray Stevens! (Camera pans to the music stage in Studio 8H; Billy Ray Stevens has a “mini mullet”, looks like he’s trying too hard to be a member of the white trash population) Billy Ray Stevens: Thank you. I’m a wannabe white trash country singer. This is a song I like to call “The Mullet Song”; it’s my ode to White Trash, USA. (Billy Ray begins strumming his guitar with a southern country twain to the music) Oh I wish I had a mullet, Because I’d like to bang my sister, And if you’ve ever seen my sister, You’d like to bang her, too. Oh I wish I had a mullet, So I could obsess about NASCAR, ‘Cuz then I’d be all hot over Dale Earnhardt. I want mullet. Oh, and I want one bad. I just wish could call my brother, “Dad” Oh I wish I had a mullet, So I could live in a trailer park, ‘Cuz then I could legally name my kid “Skid Mark”. Oh I wish I had a mullet, ‘Cuz then I could experiment with incest, ‘Cuz sexin’ a relative truly is the best. I would like a mullet, And you’d like one too, Then we’d be “white trash”, just me and you. Oh I wish I had a mullet, So I could be on “Jerry Springer”, On a show about how I banged My uncle, brother, sister. I wish I had a mullet, ‘Cuz then I’d be “white trash”, And if I was “white trash”, That would explain this rash. (Song ends) Thank you! (Fade out) (Bumper of the new “Billy Ray Stevens” CD called “Who Wants To Be A White Trash Trailer Park Living Sister Banging Darwin Believin’ Fool?”) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
