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Brewmaster 1... Darrell Hammond Brewmaster 2... Will Forte Announcer... Chris Parnell (open on a still shot of the Guinness Brewery. The scene then shifts to an interior office where the Brewmasters are standing.) Brewmaster 1: Friend of all friends I have come up with the ultimate dispenser for our lavish draught beer! Brewmaster 2: (sounding a little high) What is it you frilly waffleman Brewmaster 1: (confused) Eh? Brewmaster 2: Oh, with all these aluminum cans being built I decided to store my paints in them as well, and I may have sniffed the fumes. Brewmaster 1: Well I’ve thought of this apparatus quite nicely… (he pulls out a funnel with a coil pipe) I call it the beer bong! Brewmaster 2: (intrigued) A beer bong?! How does it work? Brewmaster 1: You pour the beer down the funnel and one person uses the coil and sucks intensely to achieve a higher state of mind. Meanwhile random acquaintances stand around and shout "Chug you filthy animal, chug! Brewmaster 2: (amazed) Brilliant! I’ll be lit beyond my dreams and even faster than I would sniffing paint thinner! Brewmaster 1: Ah, and I thought of an action phrase to help sell this beer bong! Brewmaster 2: (sounding really out of it) Wait… I have good news you ya frilly waffleman, I just saved a bunch of time and money by switching to beer bong. I got lit just as fast! Brewmaster 1: (confused) My friend… how did you know what I my campaign phrase was? (Brewmaster 2 collapses as Brewmaster looks on with astonishment) (The scene cuts to the outside still of the brewery.) Announcer: Guinness reminds you to never drink paint thinner, always buy our products and always ripoff other companies' ad slogans! Happy St. Patrick’s Day you frilly wafflemen! Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
