|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Announcer…Amy Poehler (voice only) …Antonio Banderas …Horatio Sanz Ellen DeGeneres…Kristin Wiig Tom DeLay…Will Forte (Fade in) (Open on a product endorsement / paid program type stage; Antonio Banderas sits in a causal chair, looking very relaxed and “sexy” with shirt unbuttoned for no reason) Antonio Banderas: Hello. I am actor, director and very sexy man Antonio Banderas. Many celebrities these days are lending their name to products for product endorsement. As you may or may not be aware, I have released to the world my own men’s cologne called (pause) “SPIRIT”. You can purchase this new SEXY cologne at all department stores and oddly, at your nearest “7-Eleven”. “SPIRIT” is a wonderful SEXY scent for men, who wish to be desired by the most beautiful women in the world. Trust me. I know. It works. Just ask my new best friend, Horatio Sanz. (Cut to a secondary stage for testimonials; Horatio Sanz is chewing on a slice of pizza) Horatio Sanz: Hello. I’m Horatio Sanz, Saturday Night’s resident “token fat guy”. The ladies never really went for me, but that all changed last weekend when Antonio gave me a free promotional bottle of his new cologne “SPIRIT”. I went out last Saturday night and by the end of the night, I was waist-high in whores. By the end of the weekend, I had caught 27 different venereal diseases. I felt just like “Zorro”. Trust me. SPIRIT works. (With much excitement) Thanks Antonio! (Cut back to the endorsement stage where Antonio is about to give more details) Antonio Banderas: Still don’t believe me? Colin Farrell uses “SPIRIT”. Brad Pitt does, too. And most importantly, Bill Clinton uses “SPIRIT”. Oh yeah! (Pause) Not enough? Check out this celebrity endorsement. (Cut to a secondary stage for testimonials; Ellen DeGeneres is dancing around the stage; realizes the camera is on her, she stops dancing) Ellen DeGeneres: (excited) Hi! I’m Ellen DeGeneras, Emmy award winning comedienne and talk show host. I use “SPIRIT” because it allows me to bump “uglies” with Drea de Matteo! Ha! SPIRIT works! (Cut back to the endorsement stage where Antonio is about to give more details) Antonio Banderas: SPIRIT works! Still not buying it? Look at this… (Cut to a stage with a “makeshift” jail cell, where Tom DeLay is surrounded by several other prisoners) Tom DeLay: (with a smile on his face) Hello! I’m Tom DeLay! I use “SPIRIT” here in jail and now all the inmates want me to be their BITCH! Thanks Antonio! SPIRIT works! (As we pan back to Antonio Banderas, we see Tom DeLay being roughed up by the other prisoners) Antonio Banderas: So there you have it. SPIRIT works! Buy SPIRIT and you will get “mucho lotta” poon-tang. Announcer (V/O): Buy “SPIRIT” at your area department stores or at your local “7-Eleven”. (Bumper: a well presented bottle of Antonio Banderas’ SPIRIT) (SUPER: GETS YOU LAID…WHEN NOTHING ELSE WILL) Rate or review this sketch | Prior comments |
