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Will Roy
It was about the same time that the Clash were singing of the unfortunate burning of London that Will Roy was born. Of course he was a test tube baby, born from the sperm of a cow and the egg of Monica Lewinsky. Many marveled at this new baby, Jersie Lewinsky they named it. Of course after a week of living in his father's home (A stable, his closest neighbor a pot-bellied pig named Bill), Pepsi (who own Maine) took Will away from his parents and re-named him. He was named after Roy Rodgers and Will Smith, who had previously been found guilty of having an affair...with each other. As he grew older, Pepsi did tests on Will, first sending him to the Australian Outback and testing to see if Will could live on just Pepsi for a year, and in an equally bad test making Will try Crystal Pepsi. When Will was seventeen, he ran away from the Pepsi bottling factory and kept running...until he reached Coke Inc. Since that day, Will has been writing humorous (or so he thinks!) sketches which he someday wishes to submit to Saturday Night Live however is afraid of Lorne "Whips Em Good!" Michaels. Sketches: |